


maybe i was wrong about you

by aryelee



Series: fragile little things [4]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Growing Up, Mentions of Suicide, also hi lol im alive, im so proud of her, marinette is learning from her mistakes, shes beginning to grow up, uuh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 20:16:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19483228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aryelee/pseuds/aryelee
Summary: Marinette reflects on her confrontation with Chloe and begins to grow up.It's not easy to admit that you're wrong. It's even harder to try to fix things.It's a good thing Marinette has never done things the easy way.(companion fic to chapter 25 of translation of the hearts. i recommend you read that first but i can't stop you so do whatever i guess)





	maybe i was wrong about you

**Author's Note:**

> yknow how the last companion fic was real nice and happy? yeah. that's not what this is lol

“I think I made a mistake,” Marinette admits, miserable and guilty, when Alya pulls her aside once school ends. It was hard to focus with Chloe constantly moving besides her, and even harder once she was gone. Marinette almost expected Chloe to be waiting back in her seat once lunch ended, moving even more to distract her out of spite, but the seat remained cold and empty for the rest of the day.

No one said anything about it.

Alya pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose and shoves her phone into her back pocket. The weight of her attention feels so heavy on her, but Marinette is grateful that she didn’t have to say anymore for Alya to understand that this was going to be a heavy conversation.

“Let’s talk about it somewhere quieter,” Alya says, “Your place or mine?”

“Mine,” Marinette answers. She knows she’s going to need her parents’ wisdom and hugs to start fixing her mistakes. 

Alya nods. “Alright, let’s go.” She takes Marinette’s hand in her own and leads the way. Behind them, Nino and Adrien call out goodbyes that Alya returns with a peace sign. Marinette just shrinks into herself further at Adrien’s voice; he’d hate her once he knows how horrible she was to Chloe.

She’s always so jealous when she sees how close the two are in their own strange way. They share a history and speak a language of their own. Marinette wants to believe that she’s above envy, but she knows her faults all too well despite how she tries to ignore them. To know that Chloe will tell Adrien of what she’s done, to know that it will ruin any chance of becoming closer to Adrien, leaves the bitter taste of defeat in her mouth. 

She hates herself even now; instead of worrying only about how she’s hurt Chloe, she’s thinking about how it affects herself. How disgustingly selfish. 

_“Maybe you should focus on yourself, and stop creating problems where there aren’t any,”_ Chloe had said, tired and weary, worn down to the bone. The usual towering posture of hers disappeared; Chloe had collapsed into herself, shoulders slumped under the weight of the world. 

Marinette wonders when she became so cruel. 

Fingers snap in front of her face. 

“Hey,” Alya says, “I can see you overthinking. Don’t make things worse for yourself, alright babe?” 

All Marinette can do is nod, heart heavy in her chest, and hope she can make it up to her room before she starts crying. 

It’s hard to think of anything when her mind is fixed on the memory of Chloe’s pale face, first scared, then enraged, then defeated. To see the stone cold queen broken down. To know that Marinette did that to her. To know that despite knowing that Chloe isn’t who she used to be, Marinette clung to that image and used it as an excuse to hurt her. 

Heroes aren’t supposed to hurt others. 

Maybe Marinette isn’t suited to be Ladybug anymore. 

The guilt is endless, deep enough to drown in. 

Alya squeezes her hand. “Hang in there, we’re almost at your place,” she says, pulling Marinette closer. The words of comfort make Marinette’s eyes burn with oncoming tears, feeling that she doesn’t deserve this care. 

She’s quickly pulled across the street and here’s the familiar ringing of a bell before the scent of freshly baked bread hits her. The warmth makes her relax immediately, head bowed as she tries in vain to hold back her tears. 

“Welcome back girls!” Sabine calls out from the register. “How was school?”

“Good! We’re just going up to Marinette’s room to work on stuff,” Alya replies. Marinette’s sure her mother’s picked up on her mood, but Alya likely gestured for her to stay silent about it. She’s so lucky to have someone who understands her so well, someone who helps her without hesitation, someone who makes sure she isn’t alone.

Who does Chloe have now that Sabrina’s gone? 

Adrien, perhaps, but he’s always so busy. The mayor perhaps, since he’s always so quick to worry over her. But Marinette is sure that Chloe is alone right now, beaten down from Marinette’s accusations. 

Marinette lets Alya guides her upstairs to her room. They both drop their backpacks on the floor besides the door, and Marinette wastes no time collapsing onto her lounge chair, hugging a pillow to her chest. She brings her knees up to her chest and curls up, making herself smaller. She hears Alya sigh, then feels a hand gently brush her bangs back a bit.

“I’ll go make some tea and grab some snacks, okay?”

Marinette nods, and listens to Alya’s footsteps grow fainter as she leaves her bedroom and makes her way downstairs. 

Near the door, something rustles, then a small spot of warmth appears on her shoulder. Marinette turns to face her kwami, who looks at her with worried eyes. They don’t have enough time to talk, not when Alya can come back up at any moment, so they sit together in silence, hearts heavy. 

It’s hard to think when the only thing going through her mind is the memory of Chloe, defeated, walking away and wondering when she had become so cruel that she beat down her former bully. It’s hard to do much of anything when she feels that she’ll only make things worse.

Marinette doesn’t know how long she sits there with Tikki, misery weighing her down, before her door is kicked open. Tikki disappears behind the lounge chair and Alya comes in carrying a tray with two mugs and a plate of sugar cookies.

“Okay,” Alya says, pushing one mug into her hands, “Tell me what’s got you down.”

Marinette wraps both hands around the mug and breathes in the comforting scent of her mother’s hot chocolate. Though it may be summer, hot chocolate has always been her go to drink when she’s feeling down, no matter how hot it is outside. 

_I’m so lucky_ , she thinks, _To have this. To have so many people who love me._

“Marinette.”

“I really messed up,” Marinette admits, voice weak. “I just. I thought I was defending myself. I thought it was something I had to do. But I just. I was so mean, Alya. I never wanted to be someone like that.”

Alya nods, considering her words. “So this is about Chloe then? Did she say something to you?”

Marinette hesitates. “She did, but--”

“Listen, Marinette, you can’t listen to what that girl says. She’ll do whatever to get under your skin and bring you down. That’s all she’s ever done to you!”

“But she--”

“You can’t let her keep walking over you. You’re stronger than that. You’re way better than her. Stand up for yourself! Take her down! She’s hurt you enough in the past, don’t let her do that to you anymore. You deserve to enjoy your time in lycee, okay?” Alya is passionate, and so sure of herself that Marinette begins to doubt herself. While Alya was right, Chloe has said and done so many hurtful things in the past, and that Marinette doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, isn’t that just the past? Alya waits for a response, fire in her eyes, looking ready to go out and fight for Marinette’s honor. 

For how Chloe’s treated her since the day they met, why is she feeling guilty after finally standing up for herself? Compared to what Chloe has put her through, the things Marinette said are barely anything. It’s payback. It’s karma.

It’s wrong.

Marinette shakes her head. “Listen, Alya,” she says as Alya opens her mouth to protest, “This time, I was in the wrong. Nothing that’s happened in the past justifies the things I said to her. Because this isn’t the past. Yes, she’s been horrible to me for years, but what has she done since we entered lycee? Even though we sit next to each other, she hasn’t done anything to me.”

All Chloe has done is mind her own business. She’s quiet, far quieter than Marinette’s even seen her, and paler than she expected. Thinner, too, but it’s not surprising when considering how thinness is seen as a sign of beauty. And though Chloe’s had ample opportunities to ruin Marinette’s work, or her school supplies, or even her desk, nothing’s happened. 

Hell, they don’t even talk to each other. 

Chloe has ignored Marinette day after day, never stays longer than she’s needed, and outside of class, the only time Marinette’s seen her is leaving the school or chatting with Adrien in the hallways before school starts. She’s done nothing to hurt anyone. She’s been so still and quiet it’s almost easy to forget that she’s there.

And that’s why Marinette was so sure Chloe was planning something.

Alya sighs, then says, “Do you really think she’ll leave you alone? I’m telling you, that’s suspicious. Since when has she ever minded her own business? Since when has she been nice to others? She never even treated Sabrina as more than a servant.”

Chloe’s voice rings out in her head. _“Talk shit about me all you want, but lay off of Sabrina. She knew me better than anyone and she cared for me more than anyone. She didn’t leave because she suddenly decided I was the devil incarnate, but because her dad thought Paris was too dangerous with all the akuma we get! She had to leave for her own safety, and how dare you think of her as so shallow.”_ Her protective rage had surprised Marinette enough that she stumbled back from the force of Chloe’s presence. 

Never, would she have thought that Chloe actually cared about Sabrina. But Chloe, who had been carefully leaning away from her, avoiding eye contact, and keeping quiet and nonreactive, flared to life the moment Marinette brought Sabrina into the conversation.

She really doesn’t know Chloe. 

“She cares about Sabrina,” Marinette replies, “That much is obvious now.”

“Really? You’re gonna fall for what she says?”

Marinette scowls at Alya. “You didn’t talk to her today,” she says, suddenly angry that Alya finds her past assumptions about Chloe more reliable than her _best friend_. “You didn’t hear what she said, you didn’t see how she barely tried to defend herself when I accused her of planning to ruin me and how she was ready to rip me apart for bringing Sabrina into things. I know what I saw. Can’t you trust me a little more?”

Almost immediately, Alya deflates. “Sorry, girl, I just can’t see her caring for anyone but herself. But I’ll listen to you.”

Marinette sighs, then takes a sip of her hot chocolate to soothe her throat. “I know we were paranoid that she was planning to do something horrible to me, or make someone else into an akuma, but she’s not. I went too far with it. I attacked her because I couldn’t see how she’s changed and I honestly believed she didn’t have feelings that could be hurt. And that’s on me. I was really horrible to her today, and I don’t think I can ever fix that.”

“You’re the kindest person I know,” Alya begins.

“I’m not,” Marinette argues, “A kind person wouldn’t do what I did. A kind person would believe in the best in others and not attack someone for minding their own business.”

“You’re reliable, and compassionate, and you learn from your mistakes,” Alya insists, “If you think you’ve messed up in talking to Chloe, then learn from this. It’s not the end of the world. You can apologize to her. You can fix things. You’re the strongest person I know; no matter what happens, you’ll get through this.”

She doesn’t believe it. She can’t. She’s selfish and envious and possessive. She’s too competitive and cares more about achieving her own goals than helping others. But Alya knows her well, and says each word with such surety that Marinette can’t argue. She just puts her mug back down into the tray and tries to breathe around the tightness in her chest, tries to blink back her tears, then wipes them away when they fall anyways.

Moving the tray asides, Alya pulls Marinette into a hug and runs one hand up and down her back soothingly. 

“No matter what,” she says, “I’m always here for you. It’s us against the world, babe. You got this.”

So Marinette lets herself cry, lets herself work through all that’s happened that day, and lets herself depend on Alya. When she’s done, they finish they’re hot chocolate and cookies, and once Alya leaves to go look after her sisters, Marinette talks to her parents about everything. 

When she wakes up the next day, she’s ready to start fixing things.  
  


* * *

  
Chloe doesn’t show up. Not that day or the day after. Dread wells up in her stomach, becoming heavier with each hour that passes. And the seat besides her remains empty. 

Alya comforts her best as she can, coaxing Marinette to eat even when she’s lost her appetite, and keeps Nino and Adrien from asking too many questions.

Chloe remains missing. 

It’s in the middle of the week, an evening that Marinette spends out on her balcony with only Tikki for company, that she remembers what Chat said to her a few months ago. She remembers how Chat was scared and in tears, asking her what she would do if she saw someone about to jump off a roof. Remembers how he said it was Chloe he caught, Chloe he was terrified her couldn’t save.

_“We’re heroes, right?”_

Marinette wonders if she really is meant to be Ladybug. What kind of hero would be so unforgiving to another person? What kind of person would say words so harsh that a former bully would stop coming to school? She tells herself that she just needs to better, to keep working on becoming someone worthy of the ladybug miraculous, to keep growing into a kinder person, but it’s hard to focus on when she’s sure that Chloe isn’t coming to school to avoid her.

The alternative is that her words were enough to send Chloe off a roof, and that fear hasn’t left her since the first day Chloe didn’t show up for school. Every night, as she tries to fall asleep, Marinette tries to reassure herself that Chloe isn’t dead. Someone would say something if she were. If the mayor’s daughter were to suddenly die, it’d be all over the news.

It’s hard to hide a body once it’s hit the ground, after all.

But there’s more than one way to commit suicide. And if Chloe has no one to check up on her, then who would know that she’s dead?

Marinette shakes her head. _No_ , she tells herself, and smacks her face with both hands. Chloe is alive. Chloe won’t die like that. She has to believe in that.

“Tikki,” she says, “I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s alright,” Tikki says, “Remember, you’re not alone. Isn’t there someone you still haven’t spoken to?”

Oh. Of course.

“Tikki, spots on!”

A moment later, Ladybug swings off through the streets of Paris. In an instance, the thrill of flying through the air, weightless and untouchable, sweeps away all her problems. The stress and anxiety from Chloe’s disappearance vanishes and Ladybug jumps from rooftops and throws her yo-yo to swing across the Seine. 

The moment she lands on a rooftop of a building across from the Notre Dame, she sends a message to Chat, asking him to meet her. He must have already been out, for his response comes immediately, stating that he’s on his way. 

Ladybug sits at the edge of the roof, feet dangling over the edge. The ground seems so far away. But it’s never struck fear into her. Not as Ladybug, when she’s jumped off the Eiffel Tower and knows she can catch herself. How would it feel to stare down from there as Marinette? To see the city from the top and know that the jump would kill her. Like that, it’s terrifying.

What does Chloe see?

It only occurs to her that she doesn’t know how to talk about this to Chat when he lands behind her. So many things she could say would reveal too much about who she is outside of Ladybug. And that’s something more terrifying than any height.

“Good evening, my lady,” Chat says, dropping down to sit beside her. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Hey, kitty. Sorry I’ve been leaving all the patrols to you. Things have… come up.”

He waves it away with a smile. “No need to worry! I can handle anything thrown at me. So you can take however long you need before you come back to save Paris from another nighttime disaster.”

“You’re too good to me,” she says, delighting in the way she can see his cheeks color from her words. “I actually came to you to talk about something. I need some advice. I don’t know what to do, and I figured you’d be able to help me.”

Chat blinks, then nods. Something in his expression softens, and the Chat she looks at now isn’t the same carefree, punning partner she’s used to fighting besides, but someone genuine and kind, a hero with heart. 

“Of course,” he says, “I’d help you with anything, you know that.”

“I do. I’m just not sure how to say this without revealing too much about it.”

For once Chat doesn’t try to push her, doesn’t try to learn more about who she is outside the mask. He just nods, and says, “Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.”

He’s grown up some, she realizes suddenly. He’s no longer so immature; he holds himself with more confidence and strength than before. Everyone’s changing, it seems. Both Chloe and Chat are growing up into new people. 

Has she? As both Marinette and Ladybug, has she changed and grown alongside everyone else, or is she being left behind as she stubbornly remains stuck in the past?

Ladybug lets out a deep breath, then says, “There’s someone in my civilian life I’ve never gotten along with, but lately they’ve been leaving me alone. I couldn’t see that they’ve grown up some and changed from who they were before, so I said some really terrible things to them.”

Chat considers her carefully. He doesn’t immediately try to tell her that she’s perfect and nothing’s her fault as he might have once. Instead, he thinks over what she’s told him, and tells her his honest thoughts.

“Do you feel bad for what you said?”

“Yes. Everyday since, I’ve felt so guilty for what I said. I went to far when they’ve done nothing to me, and that’s my fault for refusing to accept them for who they are now.”

“And are you going to apologize?”

“Of course! I just haven’t been able to get a hold of them, but once I do, I’m going to apologize.”

Chat nods. “Okay,” he says, “If you’re learning from your mistakes and trying to fix things, then what’s wrong?”

“I just…” Ladybug trails off, then tries again. “I don’t think I’m a good person. I’ve been wondering if I really deserve to hold a miraculous. If I hurt someone so badly for refusing to believe their truth, how can I be a good hero?”

“You’re not perfect,” Chat says, “No one is. And no one is expecting you to be perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes as long as you take responsibility for it and do what you can to make things right. Which you do. You’re one of the most responsible people I’ve ever met. You’re the perfect person to be Ladybug because you feel so bad about this. You don’t try to ignore your mistakes, you try to fix them. That takes a lot more courage than you realize.”

“You really think so?”

Chat smiles softly and throws an arm around Ladybug’s shoulders, pulling her close. “Of course I do, Bug. Of course I do.”

She relaxes into his hold and looks out over the bright lights of the city.

“Thank you, Chat.”

“Anytime, Bug. I’ll always be here for you.”  
  


* * *

  
The week passes by without any sign of Chloe. Even when Marinette gathers her courage to text her, it goes unanswered. It doesn’t even get read. 

The only text she got from Chloe was a “Thank you” for telling her what the homework was for the classes she missed a few weeks back. She had been so surprised that Chloe had thanked her, when she first got the text. That should have been enough to see that Chloe really was changing for the better, but her paranoia of getting hurt by Chloe again was stronger than it. Especially after sharing her concerns with Alya only to have them both spin it way out of proportion. 

What a mess she’s gotten herself into.

But Marinette is nothing if not determined, and she swears that she will apologize to Chloe in person before the day is done. Even if it means breaking into her room once school is out. 

She makes a plan as she walks to school: 

  1. Get notes from every class Chloe has missed all week.
  2. Bring some cake to Chloe (maybe something lemon? She’ll have to ask Adrien.)
  3. Apologize in person.
  4. Make a new dress for Chloe to make up for everything she said, and maybe (hopefully) celebrate their new friendship.
  5. Profit???



In any case, apologizes and gifts are the way to go. It would definitely make the upcoming week better for Chloe, considering how horribly her last week went. 

Alright. She just needs to keep hyping herself up through the day until she saw Chloe.

“You can do it!” Tikki cheers for her quietly from her bag. Marinette sends her a smile as thanks. 

“I got this,” Marinette says to herself as she approaches the doors to the school, “I am Marinette Dupain-Cheng and I’m going to fix this even if it kills me.” Taking in a deep breath, she enters the school and marches towards her classroom to get started on copying her own notes to give to Chloe.

A few people greet her as she passes, many surprised that she isn’t running late to class. Marinette’s surprised too, but it seems determination is more powerful than she realized. She throws open the door to her classroom, ready to begin her plan, then freezes on the spot.

“Chloe!”

**Author's Note:**

> im back lol. that Summer Depression hit me hard after finals and visiting family in japan. but anyways!! im motivated now!! im writing again!! after like, 3 months whoops.
> 
> anyways im proud of mari for taking responsibility and trying to become a better person. all the kids are growing up and im so proud of them :')
> 
> not sorry for the ending bc itll continue from there in ch.27 of translations of the hearts so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
